Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Praise it above everything

Ryan and Felilli.

Above Everything

I wished for death often
but now that I am at its door
I have changed my mind about the world.
It should go on; it is beautiful,
even as a dream, filled with water and seed,
plants and animals, others like myself,
ships and buildings and messages
filling the air — a beauty,
if ever I have seen one.
In the next world, should I remember
this one, I will praise it
above everything.
~ David Ignatow ~

Monday, September 21, 2009

Good art.

I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people. - Vincent Van Gogh

Friday, September 18, 2009

Roaring 20's

The Birthday Girl!

Ayaya, sexiness abounded at Amber's "Say Goodbye to my Roaring 20's" 30th Birthday Party at Wisdom. I know Amber from photographing her supercute Italian Greyhound Meenie for Houndstooth so it was fun to see her in another context. I'll say it now that I was a little nervous because I haven't photographed too many events before and was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the lighting right. So I compensated by taking a shot of tequila and pretty soon after started asking the couples to make out and the single ladies to show some leg. It helped the photos that everyone was good-looking and a bit tipsy themselves. I also found out that my new flash seems to know how to handle itself.

I went to NYC this week and visited this funny russian bathhouse in the Village. When I went in I was in a bit of a headspace of feeling like I needed to make some change but not being able to figure out what that was and just feeling off. Somewhere inbetween the hot and cold and all the half-naked people around me, I just knew that I really am never going to get it all figured out. This realization came after jumping into an ice cold pool after 20 minutes in the hottest sauna and temporarily losing function of my brain. When thoughts started flowing again, I realized that I've been living under a flawed premise that things will get easier if I work harder in someway. I still have a part of me that just thinks that if I can figure out how to be a fancier photographer or publish a book or meet the right guy and settle down, that all my angst will just disappear. But I know that just ain't true. I wandered up to their roof deck in the navy blue ill-fitting robes and knew once again that I had been taking myself too seriously. I stared up at the trees and watched the Russian men eat pickles and thought about my grandparents a little and how I was probably always going to end up just where I was sitting. Then I skipped off to chinatown to eat vegetarian dim sum with a couple whose wedding I am photographing next month and felt totally at ease for a good long while.

It's good, this life. It really is. I spent the day babysitting my neighbor Kayla who is five and a strong spirit. She was so intent on collecting acorns at the park that we filled up a whole grocery bag and then shared a klondike bar on her front porch (swine flu be damned). She has some very sweet moments which are fun to watch come through. I think she is a lot like how I used to be when I was younger. After that restorative yoga and vietnamese spring rolls and building my personal website, which will be up soon. Good Friday.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Lovely Rita is from Hungary and is getting married this November to an equally lovely person, Hammad. Talking with her feels like taking a breath of fresh air.

Katie is just cool. She teaches hula-hoop dance classes and does fire spinning. Obviously she's from California.

Our instructor Chrissy Carter is an amazing human being and you should take her class if you are ever in NYC. Working with her has completely transformed my yoga practice.

Elizabeth is so genuine and kind. She makes me laugh...a lot...and has the most stellar earring collection.

Damla has this peaceful, powerful presence that puts everyone at ease--especially when she is teaching.

Laura has the best jump-back chaturanga dandasanas. She once told our class while she was instructing us ardha chandrasana that we looked like five-pointed stars.

You would be so lucky to have Allison teach you sun salutations and then bake you a chocolate chip pie.

Ayalet is incredible strong and poised and curious and perceptive. I learned a lot from just listening to her ask questions.

These are some of the lovely ladies that I did my yoga training with this last month. So beautiful, right? I could write essays about everyone in the class. I'm so happy to have gotten certified with them.

Yeah, I'm a yoga instructor! It feels good~I feel strong. So, what next? I'm not sure. Photography work is flowing these days. I'm loving my clients and their pictures and just wanting to ride this wave and see what happens. Hopefully teaching in DC will become a part of it. It's this new philosophy I've been trying lately about concentrating more on what is alredy working instead of always throwing myself into new projects and exhausting my resources. It feels good to approach life this way instead of always trying so hard to paddle upstream.

Actually, I just have to say that I am ridiculously happy these days. I've been scared to write that because I am afraid of jinxing it, lest it all fall apart. My life is by no means perfect but it feels like its all working in the right direction and I don't feel like I am trying to be somebody/something I'm not. There is a sense of ease there that I haven't felt over the past couple of years where I can just admit that I don't keep up with current events and I don't go to that many happy hours but I am so excited about making my own kombucha and going to the movies and seeing exhibits like this one by Olafur Eliason. I guess I am getting comfortable in my own skin.

Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting me. I'll be posting a few pictures soon from the wedding I shot in Chicago this weekend that I am so excited about. Love!